Am I a Paranoid Android?

I wouldn't label myself as a typically paranoid person however I do tend to display paranoid tendencies in certain situations. Each time I see my biological father I am exposed to his constant paranoia am brutally reminded of this horrible habit's origin. Thanks Dad for not only giving me your limp hair but also a slice of your paranoia.

One particular situation which brings out this neurosis plays itself out at work basically everyday. I drink a lot of water at home and the amount I consume is multiplied at work. The cleansing of my system and constant hydration are two positive results which encourage me to continue in such a manner. Thanks to Taro Gomi who wrote Everyone Poops I was up to speed on that particular movement as a little tot and safely assumed that everyone pees as well. The problem is with my high consumption rate of water I have an inescapable and terribly undeniable need to go to the bathroom.

I could not care less about my coworkers knowing how frequently I pee as evidenced by the embarrassing habit I have of announcing exactly what I am doing whenever I go. However what I do care about is the guy who plants himself firmly in an armchair right by the women's restroom closest to the reference desk I work at. I absolutely detest the fact that between the hours of 9am and 5pm anytime I need to pee, I have to face this guy before I can do so. Does he think he is the high chancellor of the restrooms, I'll fight him if he does. It just really creeps me out that he chooses that spot to study in five days a week, it isn't even that prime or convenient in my opinion. All it provides him with is a clear view of how many times a day I go to the bathroom. He probably thinks I have some gross disgusting bowel issue.

I realize this is one of those occasions where I am allowing my irrational mind to get a little carried away but I know this guy knows who I am because I feel his eyes on me as I make my way to the door. I can almost read his mind as he secretly refers to me as "bladder freak" or something equally awful. My co-worker told me I should just invite him to study elsewhere but I figure I'll need something a little more creative than that to rid myself of this bathroom monitor. Any suggestions?