Remember when you were young and thought that life would be so great when you got older? Well I am fast approaching the quarter century mark and frequently think about my childish notions of what life would be like as an adult.The weekend before last I helped celebrate a friend's birthday. {Random side note. We went to Gorat's which is Warren Buffet's favorite steakhouse in Omaha. Guess who got carded, me!} Over dinner I asked the birthday boy what he thought life would be like at this age. His only response was that he thought he would be married. I will admit, I thought the same thing.
Circumstances this week have necessitated a good deal of focus on my current situation, my employment, bank account, and academic aspirations. I've come to a number of conclusions. First, I have decided that I enjoy managing the woes and concerns of others far more than my own. Second, I concluded or rather I acknowledged how far I am from where I would like to be.
My qualm is not with the fact that I will soon be twenty-five and am unwed, although I innocently assumed that at this point in life, I would be. My struggle is akin to Tom's in 500 Days Of Summer. He works for a greeting card company despite his desire to be an architect because it just didn't work out or something to that effect. I love the scene in the movie when he finally comes to and realizes his dream, plus the chalkboard wall in his apartment rocks.
Perhaps what I need is to fall in love with a guy who will eventually break up with me, break my heart, shatter all illusions of love, and as a result, motivate me to quit my job and actually pursue something (which happens to fall in the same vein as Tom) that would satisfy me academically and fuel my passions.
7 comments:
I know you have heard it all before, but you are awesome and you do awesome things every day and you are where Heavenly Father wants you to be RIGHT NOW! Love you=)
Ditto to what your Mom said. She is a wise lady.
And now I wish we would've talked last night. All the same, I have to say that I am learning that the "unexpected life is still a life" (Sister Oaks said that). Even though things aren't how I necessarily want them right now, I am continually being taught that Heavenly Father is still creating something of value from me/with me in the current state of my life. I KNOW the same goes for you. As Pres Hinckley put it, "It will all work out, don't worry." Love ya.
When I was younger and people would talk about sister missionaries I always thought, "Yeah, I guess I'll go on a mission if I'm not married. But, come on! By 21 I'm bound to be married!"
You can plan and expect all you want, but when it comes down to it you realize the path your life takes is more out of your control than you thought. And that's ok when you realize in whose control it is in.
I recently turned 25 and had some very similar thoughts. This isn't what I expected life to look like at 25 but I'm not angry about it either. Life is interesting.
But 21 is old!
Sorry, just had to say that since I'm not 21 yet.
I reached 25 last year, and let me tell you, being an adult is not all its cracked up to be! The other day I told my mom that I was ready to come back home and let them handle everything again...insurance, bills, life. I guess I wouldn't change the way things are now, except maybe the balance of our bank account, but enjoy where you are in life now. You'll miss it someday!
I don't even need to blog becuase you basically blog my life ;) I have the same thoughts and I loved that movie for those reasons not the love aspect of it.
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